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Fresh Ideas for Deacon's Wives

Fresh Ways to Encourage Your Husband and Your Church

By Diana Davis, B&H, 2009. ISBN 978-0805448238.

Fresh Ideas for Deacon Wives

Deacon Wives from Fresh Ideas syndicated columnist Diana Davis is a warmhearted, conversational book that shares stories and insights for deacon wives whether just inaugurated or long experienced. Wives will enjoy tips on how to best encourage her husband's work, the ministry of the pastor and his wife, and other church staff and members. There are also helpful home and family suggestions, self-evaluation forms and checklists, and even a detailed teaching plan to share this wealth of material with other women in the church.

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Fresh Ideas for Deacon Wives Excerpt - "The Fishbowl Syndrome"

Now get this picture: You’re going about your life as usual, and suddenly you notice that a church member is watching you. It’s called the fish-bowl syndrome. And it’s okay. Younger and less mature Christians need role models, and you are one. Check out these Scriptures.

Members of your church do not think that you or your husband is perfect. They do, however, respect and admire you. They have carefully weighed the biblical job description for a deacon and deacon wife before electing him as a deacon. As a servant-leader, a deacon not only serves, but he sets an example. You and your deacon husband were already living for God and serving in His church before today.

People in your church will watch your reactions to life crises, your ministry within the church, your parenting, and your marriage. They will pay close attention to your attitudes, words and your body language. And that’s okay. Live to please God, and don’t change what you’re doing. Just keep on swimming.

“Remember your leaders who have spoken God's word to you. As you carefully observe the outcome of their lives, imitate their faith.” Hebrews 13:7 HCSB

“Watch the blameless and observe the upright, for the man of peace will have a future.” Psalm 37:37 HCSB

“Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. The one who does good is of God.” 3 John 1:11a HCSB

“…observe those who live according to the example you have in us.” Philippians 3:17b HCSB

8 Ways a Deacon Wife can Make a Difference…This Week

In each chapter of this book, we’ll discuss practical tips for a deacon’s wife. We’ll discuss dozens of “how-to” ideas for ministry, ways to enhance your family and your home’s impact for Christ, and the incalculable value of prayer. We’ll share effective ways you can encourage your husband, your pastor and pastor’s wife, and an entire chapter will be devoted to ways to help to preserve harmony in your church.

So let’s get started. The following eight tips are some “starter steps” – eight ways that you can make an impact on your church…this week.

#1 Smile

A joyful heart makes a face cheerful…” Proverbs 15:13a HCSB

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 (HCSB)

Got joy?

This story is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. I spent time each week discipling Janet, a new Christian. She had asked about the role of deacons, and she quipped, “Oh, I’ve figured out how to spot which ones are the deacon wives.” Curiously, I took the bait. “How?” “They’re the ones with the scowls on their faces!” My heart sank. As I sat there, picturing the deacon wives that she had met, I realized that their faces did hold a permanent frown! Janet didn’t know their kind hearts and loving ways. She merely saw their outward appearance. The next time I was with them, I related that sad story, and challenged them to smile.

Scripture challenges us to “Be joyful always” I Thessalonians 5:16. As a deacon wife, set the pace for joy at your church. Does your countenance convey joy? Does your family and church know that you have joy? Do you do God’s work with joy? Do your words reflect joy?

Speak positive words. It was a weekly phenomenon. After Sunday morning worship, I’d stand beside my pastor/husband, and we’d greet worshippers as they departed the service. One person would say, “Pastor, we need to turn that air conditioning down. It was sweltering in there today.” The very next person in line would comment, “I nearly froze to death in there!” Many complaints have little to do with eternity. Is it really worth launching a campaign to argue about carpet color or classroom assignments? Don’t be the constant complainer.

A constant complainer reflects poorly on her God. She deters friends. She hurts her witness and her integrity. If you’ve developed a habit of complaining at home or at church, change that habit! John put it succinctly: “Stop complaining among yourselves.” John 6:43.

Christians have something to smile about. The God of our universe has written our names on his hand. (Isaiah 49:16). He cares intimately for us. He knows every detail about us, right down to the number of hairs on our head. (Luke 12:7). He’s promised us a life “more abundant!” John 10:10. Joy is a fruit of the spirit. So smile.

Celebrate the Ordination!

- It’s the culmination of the deacon selection process. How can you make deacon ordination day memorable?

- Call or mail friends and relatives invitations to the ordination service.

- Plan a celebration reception at your home after the ordination ceremony.

- Ask a friend to take photos for a remembrance book.

- Purchase a leather Bible as an ordination gift. Ask Pastor, deacons and friends to write their names and a favorite Scripture on a blank page, underlining that Scripture in the Bible.

- Write and mail a note to your husband to tell him how proud you are of him.


Fresh Ideas for Deacon Wives Endorsements

“After recently doing DVDs and writings on deacons, I was blessed to hear that Diana Davis has written a book of encouragement as well as instruction to the deacons’ wives. It has often been said that our wives make us or break us. If a deacon has a wife with a positive witness and a servant’s heart serving alongside of him, he will be blessed indeed. You will be blessed by this six-week study on deacon’s wives.”
- Dr. Johnny Hunt
President of Southern Baptist Convention,
Pastor of First Baptist Church of Woodstock, Georgia
Author of “The Deacon I Want to Be”

“Diana Davis has done it again! Here is a book for Deacon’s wives written with great attention to detail and full of helpful tips. Following the tradition of Diana’s other books in laying a solid Biblical foundation; this one leads you to a deeper understanding of the role of a deacon’s wife. I have yet to find any other resource that thoroughly explains this unique role so well. One of the gems of this book is the diagnostic questions and real life examples. If you find yourself in the honored position as a deacon’s wife, you will find many nuggets of wisdom and even a few admonitions to refresh your commitment to this godly role.”
- Debbie Hammond
Wife of the (former) President
North American Mission Board
Atlanta GA

In her newest book for deacon wives, Diana Davis writes in her usual engaging and conversational style to women who are new to this ministry as well as those who’ve been married to a deacon for several years. Never have I seen so many practical, doable, and effective ideas in one book! I highly recommend the book as a gift to deacon wives by their husbands or their churches.
- Dr. Betty Hassler
Editor of Deacon Magazine
Nashville TN

“Diana’s writings depict her love of God and her enthusiasm for sharing her ideas with others. She is as vibrant as are her writings. DEACON WIVES is full of practical ways to inspire and teach the ladies to serve wherever they go, whether it’s in the church or in the community.”
- Vela Adair, Deacon Wife
University Baptist Church
San Antonio TX

“The deacon wife has long wondered what her role of service should be. This scriptural study with practical helps gives great insight to help her reach her full potential and make a difference in the kingdom of God.
Every deacon wife can benefit from this book.”
- Clemmie Edwards
LifeWay deacon wife instructor
Cabot AR

“Once again, Diana has given us a wonderful tool for ministry based on the truth of the Bible and real life experience. Written as an insider who experienced church life as a deacon’s daughter and a pastor’s wife, Diana offers practical insights coupled with challenging personal assessment projects that will stretch and grow participants. When read and studied, this book will be a catalyst that will sharpen the wives’ ministry, strengthen friendships between deacon families, and serve the church overall.”
- Pastor Jim Bohrer
Hope Community Church
Brownsburg IN

“Deacon’s Wives is practical & purposeful in igniting a passion for service necessary to strengthen the body of Christ and support the pastoral role of the church. An excellent and impactful tool to touch the heart of your church through cultivating the heart of your deacons family. Drawing from Diana’s childhood experience of growing up on ministry and faithful service throughout her adult years as a pastors wife, this book is a “must” read for the deacons wife (husband and older children). We have also been most fortunate to have Dr. and Mrs. Davis lead and equip our deacons and we are thrilled that others will get this opportunity. With great admiration and sincere conviction we eagerly endorse Deacon Wives by Diana Davis!“
- Pastor Chris and Dr. Michelle Metcalf
Lihue Baptist Church
Lihue Hawaii

“It is my honor to endorse Deacon Wives by Diana Davis. What a wonderful read, and full of helpful resources! I would love to have had a copy when my husband became a Deacon, and I had to learn the responsibilities of a Deacon wife. Well done.”
- Betty Spence, Deacon wife
First Baptist Church
Garland TX

If you have ever longed to add meaning and significance to your ministry as a Deacon’s wife then Deacon Wives, Fresh Ideas to Encourage Your Husband and the Church is a must read. Diana Davis has once again written a book that is both practical and applicable. She has done so in a style that will engage and entertain you.
- Dave Rogers, former Director of Learning Development
South Carolina Baptist Convention

This book we have needed for a long time. It encourages as well as instructs the deacon wife that they have a ministry too. It is a holy call to assist their husband to be the best deacon servant they can be. In many cases the deacon’s wife can use this information to say the right thing at the right time to encourage their husband to minister to someone in need. In today’s world the church must be open to allow God’s called to minister. This is a book for the deacon’s wife and the deacon to understand the need to step up and take charge of their ministry through the church.
- Roy Lee Saint, Deacon Specialist
Associate Director
Discipleship and Family Department
Florida Baptist Convention

This book is a wonderful resource; full of practical ideas to help any deacon’s wife fully partner with her husband to make an eternal impact for the Kingdom of Christ.
- Heidi Hackney, Deacon wife
Hope Community Church
Brownsburg IN

Diana writes from her heart…
She writes from her previous history…
She is a great godly examples of a pastor’s wife…
She has been the mentor for younger women and older women…
She has started women’s ministries…
She is proud of her pastor husband…
She has led by example…
She has a servant’s heart…
She has a love for teaching the women the biblical lessons to live by…
She is hospitable…
She is always thinking of ways to make things better…
She encourages her husband and church family…
She has a strong walk with the Lord…
She prays for her family.
The book, Deacon Wives, is a great example of how I saw Diana live her life while she was at our church.
She is a true lady of God.
- Linda Aaron, Deacon wife
Humble Area’s First Baptist Church
Humble TX

“Diana Davis is a gifted communicator with innovative ideas on how to do ministry. Her monthly column in the Indiana Baptist is helpful for pastors and laypeople alike. Her recent work with Deacon Wives has yielded wonderful dividends.
Our church has been beneficiaries of this instruction firsthand from the author during a Deacon and Deacon Wives Retreat. That weekend set a new course for our ladies that has blessed their pastor, their families, and their church.”
- Dr. Mark S. Hearn
Senior Pastor, Northside Baptist Church
Indianapolis IN

“It doesn’t matter if you’ve been a deacon’s wife for thirty years or thirty minutes. You will be challenged by the ideas of Diana Davis and the many scripture reminders to be the deacon’s wife God has called you to be. Diana’s “friend to friend” presentation of the “Fresh Ideas to Encourage Your Husband” offers advice that can be implemented now. No need to wait to get started in being the supportive wife every deacon (and pastor) needs.
Her ideas are not threatening. Any deacon’s wife can begin putting them into practice starting now. But beware, you will find soul-searching, self-assessments that will lead you to search God’s word, pray, and look for ways to serve your church and your God.”
- Judy S. Saint
LifeWay Deacon Wife Trainer
Jacksonville FL